Snow-Snowman!

Ah, its abt time to get started on writing again! How was your Christmas? Mine was nice. We got snow! A white Christmas! My first ever! I also built my first ever snowman! The teenager decided he wasn't gonna play int he snow this year! So I had fun, alone! The doggy Im babysitting plus my own dog, decided that the face wuld be a great snack! So they got hold of him after I was done---he didn't last very long!

Winter is still in the air! We are expecting more snow tonite, and whats on the ground hasnt even melted yet!

Life has been good overall--its been a good/bad year--but the main thing comes from always seeing ur cup as half full!

This year, I disovered facebook AND twitter! I discovered that daytime soap stars can actually be friendly. I've yet to get a few more to reply back---but I got a few responses--and it was nice! :) im not much of a tv watcher or a soap fan, but I like Days! I also enjoy foodnetwork!

Haven't had alot of movie time lately. One wuld think that Christmas break wuldve been the perfect time to rent. We were snowed in, wulda culda shulda! Im off today to go get me a movie! Its time!

Looking back on ur year, I hope your cup was seen as half full! Heres to a great 2010! Mwah!

AA 12 Step Meeting

Well, I attended my first AA 12 Step meeting---as a guest ofc. Everyone has a "black sheep" in their family. But regardless, when these sheep need support, family shld be there. So my family piled in the van, mom, dad, me, sis...and mom and dads best friends---and we drove on ice for four hours, to go see the family member "graduate".

It was quiet an experience for me! I found it very interesting. Mostly they took turns congraulating our family member--as the family member was a supervisor, and well respected and liked. It was nice to see that for a change.

There were about 50, or so? and they introduced themselves with their date. And some told us little stories. It wasn't the average meeting probably since congrats were in order. But still, it was not boring.

Im deaf---so yes, I had an interpreter. :) She did an awesome job.
Afterwards, we had butterscotch cake. Oh my goodness! It was delish!

Then we stopped at IHop to eat, and then drove a different route home, arriving in 3 and a half hours.

One guy talked abt his experience--and he was back in there for the second time this year----he talked abt how impt it was for the 2 "graduates" to get a sponsor. So this is something we will help the family member with.

So for those of you out there who are struggling---sometimes it does take court to order that they go---alot of the guys in there said they didnt wanna be there---but after a few weeks or so they began to understand---as they learned and changed. And they also enjoyed being there. None of them have regrets. So hang in there, there IS hope. The 12 step program, does help. Its not garunteed, bec we can't do it for them, but its a start.

May you have a happy new year! :)

Today is a new day. For all of us. This is a time in my life, where I am wanting a closer walk with my Lord. I am learning and wanting to continue learning, to put Jesus first in my life. We all shld strive for a closer walk with our Lord. It hasn't been an easy thing to do. Lifes temptations are great. Thankfully the Lord knew this and gave us a way to be forgiven, and prayer to help us to refrain--to resist--and have faith.

I feel as though I am supposed to reach out--where and to who--remains unknown to me. But I know that since I've changed my paths, my life has been easier. The Christian walk is not easy no--but life is better is what I mean. It has been a difficult path, but one that I strive to stay on. Learning to forgive others--I always thought, came easy to me. Last fall, I learned otherwise. For 4 months, I struggled. I struggled with forgiveness, from a person that I didn't understand, how one culd teach their children to be so hateful and ugly, and tell them it was okay to behave that way if they were angry. I had to truly fight--time in prayer, asking the Lord to help me conquer that, and finally I was told, by the Lord, that I had to pray for her too. What? Now, that....was hard.

But I obeyed. And then... :) I can smile because forgivness came a little easier. With time and prayer. There are days we fight, we struggle, and we just learn to give those struggles to the Lord, and our Father above will help us to overcome them. Because, I learned, something I had to keep in mind, we are incapable of forgiving---our God helps us to forgive. Thank you! Thank you for giving me forgiveness and the ability thru you, Christ Jesus, to forgive!

I continue to struggle in my path, the path the Lord has chosen for me--is narrow, but I WILL prevail, through Him! :) For with Him, all things are possible. (i forget the bible verse at the moment sorry!) I don't mind that its a difficult path. For because even though this path may be difficult, to me, it means that happiness, will prevail. I have a better life--and all I need. I choose to let the Lord guide me. For He is my fort. My rock and my salvation. I'll smack myself and learn to forgive myself if I do something wrong, because we all make mistakes, and none of us are perfect. We can only strive to not do things intentionally to hurt others.

So here's to our walk with our Lord. May God bless us all, and hold our hands, guide us, and show us the way. Today, tomorrow, and forever!

my deafness with family and friends

My eyes are my ears. With my eyes, I "hear" the world. The other nite, I visited old friends--those I grew up with--when i could hear. Before my hearing was totally lost. Back in the time, when hearingaids were useful. Then, my hearing gradually declined, and I drifted apart, allowing my hearingloss to come between me, my family and my friends. Even tho I made new ones that I culd talk to more, I missed my friendships of old.

This past month, I got to renew these friendships. Staying int ouch is a great thing. I stopped for a quick visit with my grandma--who I struggle so hard to understand--I don't get to visit with her when my family gets together--they're all busy talking, and I cannot hear.
So last Friday, I visited for 45 mins. Alot of it was "lost", hard to follow, but still enjoyable--even though awkward. This is what I mean by drifting apart and allowing it to come between us. We don't know eachother well. Not as well as we did when I was younger. I miss visiting with my family, just sitting and talking to them. Its sad to say, but my deaf acquaintances/friends wuld know more abt me, than my own family.

Then....I made a stop---to my childhood best friends house--I was nervous. I knew I wouldn't be rejected--bec she loves me as I am--accepted me for who I was so long ago-but its soo hard to have a conversation continuously when no sign language is present.But I love her, and I missed her, and I wanted to make an effort to stay in touch, for my family and my childhood best freinds mean the world to me. So I stopped by. Somehow, we managed. 30 mins, a few repeats, but all went well :) Then...in the next town over, I stopped by her sisters, my other equally best childhood friend. Her sister---culd fingerspell and knew a few words in sign---so we visited for 2 hours!

I've learned cherish what we have. Hearingloss shldn't get in the way of family and friends. I've missed alot of time with my family, because I'm really shy, and I don't speak up, because of my hearingloss. I am trying to learn to live without regrets. Missed opportunities--we learn from them.
I don't regret being deaf. I recently learned my mom didn't want me to get the cochlear implant. She was told I would lose what I already had. So she made a wise decision. I am greatful. I love being deaf--I have no complaints. It doesn't matter that I miss out on wonderful sounds---like my childs voice--I miss it--I didn't get to hear his voice become deeper as he changes into a teenager.....like family conversations---but thats life, and we learn to deal with it, and we become positive about other things. Thats my outlook on life, and I'm sticking to it. Make the best of what you have. The glass is half full-not half empty! :)

Christmas in November

Alot of interesting topics have come up lately. First, I just wanna say, I've been thinking about putting my Christmas tree up early. Reason is: well, Thanskgiving is just a few short weeks away. We can still have thanksgiving and enjoy christmas lights and decoration right?

I was driving down my street and I saw some beautiful decorations and trees in the windows already on display. At homes. Ofc, the other places are at the stores.
So why go to the stores just to enjoy the "feel" of Christmas?

When my son was smaller, I felt we shld wait till the day after Thanksgiving. This is to prevent confusion for the little ones. But he's 14 now. And I just wanna enjoy the pretty lights and stuf for a little more than just 1 month.

I don't use Santa claus stuff. I use snowmen--for the "winter" season. I don't believe in decorating with Santa stuff, tho we do "play" santa on christmas day--as long as the younger ones understand its just a fun game and its not real, but they still have to "believe". As long as the true meaning of Christmas is understood.

So now, why not enjoy the christmas decorations, and still have the feel of the family togetherness of the thanksgiving holiday?

I have some more thoughts on this but will post them later.

Whirrl---Check it out!

One of those mornings

Its a Wednesday morning, and boy do I have a headache! Didn't sleep at all last nite--woke up every hour on the hour. Don't you just hate that? You finally fall asleep at 5:30am, and then its time to get up!

I love mornings, but waking up is hard to do! No matter what time I go to bed, how many hours of sleep I get, its the same thing over and over. I'm sure it happens to everyone!?

Got an MRI in the works of being scheduled--my legs were hurting pretty bad last nite, one of the reasons I didn't sleep. The joys (not) of people not paying attention, and rearending another!(Not me, them!)

I am so behind on blogging. But life is good! Its what we make it-and we shld try to make it goode everyday! But days like today I just feel lazy bec Im soo sleepy!
Tons to do, wash football clothes, my sisters laundry for her, since her washer decided to quit, dishes piled in the sink which doesn't happen too often, phone calls to make....

At least my asthma is feelin' better already thanks to all the inahilers I have--and the antibiotics are doing' their job for the bronchitis!

Much love--and have a great day with Jesus folks!

Sketti Dinner!

Well! This is one of those days that I'm in the mood to go shopping.
My kid on the other hand, is more interested in the OU game!
He has yet to shower and get ready to go!

Maybe I shld just leave him home? We are goin' to a "sketti" dinner tonite.
CODHI's Annual Spaghetti dinner. But momma wants to shop and meet up with a friend before the dinner!!

Oh well. I guess if he's not ready by 4pm, I can say "byebye!" :-P
Well...I'm just sayin..... haha no....I gotta have my kiddo with me. He's my life! Good thing he likes going with me!


Have a great day folks!

Socializing--and the flu

Tomorrow night, I am gonna go surround myself with people---because I wanna hear Dr. Emiline Thomas give her speech, and because an author friend is gonna be here visiting from washing DC and he owes me some books, which I am taking advantage of. My first autographed book! The downside to this? Well..the flu germs are still flyin' around. I already caught one round, I do not want to go to round 2.

So tmw means hugs, hugs and more hugs. I love hugs. But not tomorrow. Its safe to say I will carry germx in my purse, or my pocket even. Maybe I shld bring some lysol and spray them first? ;) yes, ofc I am only kidding! :-D

And I am soo hoping to sell tickets! The Abababa Road Tour is happening soon---I need to sell 40. Somehow I don't think I'm gonna get that lucky, not even before Dec 4th, the nite of the show gets here. But I'm gonna try. You could help. You could buy a ticket. 15.00. The show is worth it! YOu'll laugh. Alot. And you'll cry too. :)

Guess thats another nite of socializeing and avoiding the flu germs that fly by. I guess its safe now to say taht pigs have 'flown'?
Well, thats it for this blog. which really isn't even a blog..is it? I've been too sick lately to actually do any real writing. But soon. Soon. I hope. :-p

Using cell while driving

I am devastated. It breaks my heart to see how many people are losing their lives both innocent and not innocent--in using cell phones while driving.

I got rearended last month--the driver wasn't on the cell phone, but instead was distracted by someone outside his window. Thankfully he was not traveling fast.

I saw a picture today, of a Honda crotch bike, jammed inside of a car. The driver, passenger and the bike rider, were all killed instantly.

Everyday, I venture out. I FORCE myself to put my phone down. And leave it. This is important. It could save a life. My life, someone elses life. Don't text and drive. Don't TALK and drive.

I get frusterated when I see hearing people talking on their cells, and they didn't see me, and we avoid a near collision because they weren't paying attention. At least when your gabbering on the phone, you CAN watch the road. Texting involves taking your eyes OFF the road. And yet, still so many wrecks.

We can avoid this. Even if theres a new law that forbids it---is it really going to bring the numbers down? People can text under the steeringwheel. They can put the phone on speaker. Its still distracting.

Im not so innocent. I had a few closecalls myself--when I texted and drove. This is why I don't. Its too scary and its not worth it. Its not worth losing my life or someone elses life over.

PLEASE, think before you use your cell and drive. Save a life. It might be yours!

NAD, Netflix and Wizard of Oz

(Note: this is not my blog writing. I just wanted to share NAD's letter to Netflix regarding their refusal to caption the Wizard of Oz) Renee'

NAD Calls Out Netflix on CaptionsOn September 9, 2009, the National Association of the Deaf requested that Netflix provide a captioned version of “The Wizard of Oz” movie that Netflix made available online, for free, for everyone on October 3, 2009. Netflix disregarded the NAD request along with thousands of letters, emails, comments, and tweets urging Netflix to caption the movie. Today, the NAD expressed its dismay at the lack of any response from Netflix and its failure to make this 70th anniversary celebration of “The Wizard of Oz” accessible to 36 million deaf and hard of hearing viewers.

Here is what the NAD said:-------------------------------------------------------------------- Monday, October 5, 2009 Catherine FisherDirector, CommunicationsNetflix, Inc.cafisher@netflix.com

Ms. Fisher – On September 9, 2009, the National Association of the Deaf (NAD) wrote to you in response to Netflix’s announcement that “The Wizard of Oz” would be freely available to everyone on October 3rd, the 70th anniversary of this classic film. We requested that Netflix enable people to choose to view a captioned version of this classic film by placing a "CC" icon on your webpage linked to the captioned version.

We urged Netflix to take advantage of this unique opportunity to demonstrate its commitment to providing accessible entertainment to 36 million deaf and hard of hearing Americans. See http://www.nad.org/node/442.

In addition to the NAD, Academy Award winning actress Marlee Matlin and many other people appealed to Netflix to caption “The Wizard of Oz.”

The process of captioning “The Wizard of Oz” is technically possible and relatively simple to achieve. The television version and the DVD version of the film have already been captioned. Captions can be programmed into the Microsoft Silverlight application that Netflix uses for its Watch Instantly feature. Captions have been included in videos, programming, and movies made available for viewing online. See, for example, http://www.hulu.com. We received no response from Netflix. Our request for a captioned version of “The Wizard of Oz” on October 3rd was not honored. Unlike the characters in “The Wizard of Oz,” Netflix looks like it is still searching for its brain, heart, and courage.

We view Netflix’s lack of response and lack of captioning for “The Wizard of Oz” as a blatant statement by Netflix that 36 million deaf and hard of hearing people are second class citizens. This is the message that our community received from Netflix. Netflix must commit to a policy and timetable to provide captions for its online movie service to ensure equal access to this service by Netflix account holders who are deaf or hard of hearing. Such a policy is a not only a good business practice, it's the right thing to do.

In addition, we ask Netflix to meet with NAD representatives, and the courtesy of a response to this invitation. Rosaline CrawfordDirector, Law and Advocacy CenterNational Association of the Deaf8630 Fenton Street, Suite 820Silver Spring, MD 20910 Advocates need to continue to request captioning on Netflix Watch Instantly movies by sending messages to Netflix by Twitter via the Netflix twitter account at http://www.twitter.com/netflix or @netflix and http://www.twitter.com/netflixhelps or @netflixhelps, via the Netflix Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/netflix, by posting comments on the Netflix blog at http://blog.netflix.com/, and contacting:Catherine FisherDirector, CommunicationsNetflix, Inc.cafisher@netflix.com408-540-3847 Netflix Customer Service1-866-716-0414Source: http://www.nad.org/news/2009/10/nad-calls-out-netflix-captionsNetflix: Wizard of Oz - 70th Anniversaryhttp://www.netflix.com/wizardofozYahoo Tech:http://tech.yahoo.com/blogs/patterson/57543/deaf-association-to-netflix-why-no-captions-during-free-online-showing-of-oz/HackingNetflix.com:http://www.hackingnetflix.com/2009/10/netflixs-wizard-of-oz-showing-upsets-national-association-of-the-deaf.html

Cochlear Implants

Cochlear Implants
Awhile ago, I had a conversation with a friend about...Cochlear Implants. Once upon a time, this is something I truly wanted for myself. Cochlear is not widely embraced by the deaf community. But before you all (deafies) start getting mad at me, or pointing fingers-- this is not something I want now.One would have to put themselves in my shoes to understand my former desires. If a hearing parent with a deaf BABY were to come to me now.

I have no clue truly how I would reply. But I would be honest about how I wanted one when I was a teen. and how I do not want one now and I'm glad I never recieved one. I see, know and understand the pros and cons of cochlear implants and I understand why latened deaf adults want them. We shldnt criticize. Many deaf haven't gotten to experience our way of life.I wasnt always deaf. I was born hearing...my views through the years have changed as I have grown and gained knowledge. When I was 16--I begged my parents for a cochlear. I wanted one so bad. I was seriously afraid of becoming deaf--even though I was attending a deaf school.Not that there was anyting wrong with being deaf--i loved my school, and I loved my friends! But--I relied sooo much on my hearing.You see, At the age of 5- I had to wear hearing aids, because my hearing was slowly going away. When I say slow--I mean extremely gradual.

When I was 16, I was wearing ONE hearing aid in my left ear. I could still talk on the phone, and undersatnd a conversation over the phone. I could hear birds singing, Ic ould hear my mom hollar at me from the next room over, I could sort of follow a conversation if too many people were not talking at once, AND if I knew what the topic of the conversation was. I cried everytime my hearing got worse and worse. How would I be able to live life without being able to hear?

But u know what? Its not so bad at all!I became Miss. Deaf Oklahoma in 1993. I attended college. I had jobs. I have and continue to live a full life. Today, I am happy that my parents couldn't afford the cochlear in the 80s. I'm a very good eligibility for cochlear to be sucessful if i were to accept it now. But you know? I am just fine without it.I consider myself an asset to the deaf community. With or without a cochlear.But let me say this. EVEN if i were to get a cochlear--the deaf community would still be a part of my life. I wouldnt get a cochlear--so I could be "hearing" again. I wouldnt be getting it to leave the deaf world and become a "hearing person". No. Just to hear sounds again, and hear my sons voice again. But thats okay no worries because its not gonna happen :)

As a deaf person without cochlear, I consider myself sucessful. A full time mom, an advocate, a deaf interpreter, a QAST Evaluator for the State of Oklahoma, and much much more.Just for any moms out there reading this--theres nothing wrong with the deaf way of life. :) Even if ur considering cochlear for your child-let them be a part of the deaf community in some way. This could turn out to be a positive experience, for you, and for your child.With much love. :) I'll always be in full SUPPORT of ASL. But if a hearing parent wants to give their child a cochlea implant--we can't stop them---we can embrace their decision--and encourage them to support ASL and be a part of the deaf community somehow.

Now mind you, these are my thoughts and my views. Not everyone shares them. :) Happy reading!

DeafNation Expo, OKC

DeafNation Expo-Oklahoma City, October 3, 2009. What a weekend! Heres me with my girlfriends that I see once a year, if I'm lucky! Seems like we deafies are just scattered out everywhere!

I am still recovering from the weekend! Had a great time at DeafNation. It was enjoyable definitly! Here I am with my bf and son (in the blue and his friend in the green) With Deaf UFC Fighter Matt Hamill! Matts really nice!

My son said Matt hugged him so hard, and did a "pat" on the back--his back is still in pain! (laugh)

Deaf Nation turned out 2000 plus people in OKC! That rocks! So i think this means they'll be back next year! I didn't get to visit as much as I wanted---since I was trying to sell tickets to the Abababa Road Tour performance. We're excited about that upcoming event!
It was wonderful to see everyoen though. Seeing old friends, and meeting new.
Seems that everyone had a wonderful time! I can't get the pics to upload correctly, so until I do--i can only say we carried our conversations well into the nite, at a restaurant where the guys (and a few gals) enjoyed watching the OU game.

The OKCAD hopefully had a good turnout too. I didn't even get that far--since I ended up staying and chatting at the restaurant after eating. Thats okay! Hope to see you Okies at the Alan Abarbanell Road Tour on Dec 4th! Tickets are 15.00! Don't miss out! Mwah!

Football

I have for so long, not understood football! How abt u? How many times have you asked a male to explain football to you, and it was useless? happened to me plenty of times.

I have the solution. I think :-D Actually--it is the only solution because it worked for me!

I have come to the conclusion, that---if you want to know something about something---ask a female who knows something about that something. Because if you ask a male---chances are you still aren't gonna understand it. For realskies!

So we shld all do the smart thing---and ask a female "would you please explain football to me"----chances are--within 10 mins, ur gonna understand quiet a bit more about football!

My son has been playing football since 4th grade, and I've never understood it. Ofc, I never asked a female to explain it to me either.

So everytime I asked a male--even during the games---
Trust me, it was so not helpful. So I sat thru many games, having no clue.

I decided this year, since my son is a freshman.... I am gonna learn. I have to sit at the football field quiet often, freshmen games, JV Scrimmages, Varsity games---cuz as a football mom, I need to know what my kiddo is doing right?? :)

I learned, he plays center for offense and nose guard for defense. I know exactly where he is--bec he's always right smack dab in the middle, either handing the football to the quarterback, or getting ready to pounce on the opposite ends center or quarterback if he can.
NOW I see the point of watching football. Its not just a bunch of guys chasing a ball and jumping on top of eachother--after all.

So if you wanna know football---do urself a favor and don't even bother with the male population-they make it sound all too important and complicated--and they'll definitly complicate it much more further than it actually is! ;) ask a female! :)

Go Bulldogs! :)

Dear Family

Because my family wants to know what I'm up to, what my kiddo is up to. So...

Dear Family,

I miss you each very much. Including mom and dad, who actually live like 15 mins from here, and don't come visit, unless dads dropping off tomatoes, or mowing my lawn. I think I am gonna make a family dinner soon. You are all welcome, but please let me know ahead of time. :) I think I need to move into a more spacious house. Mines big, but...set up wrong.

Brandon has been playing football, and totally wearing me out. He plays Jr Varsity on Mondays (Tuesdays coming in Oct) and he plays 1st string with the freshmen on Thursdays, and then on Fridays he gets to dress with the varsity, and actually got to play quiet a few plays in the last Varsiy game. So I am sort of living at the football field this year.

The other nite, I froze my tushy off. Seriously. I had a hoodie, and a blanket, and I was sitting on a stadium seat. For all the good it did me, I still froze. This was one of those nites, where the freshme game was supposed to start at 7pm---but it did not. At 8:30pm the game FINALLY started. It had been a very wet day--which made for a pretty coooool (cold really!) night.

The 7th and then the 8th, play first before the freshmen. This is why the long nite. So by thetime the game was over, at 10:00pmish--after sitting there for like 3 hours---Oooh I was soo excited to run to the car and turn on the heat! Like full blast. Like seriously!

So I drive around to the "home" side parking, since thats where our boys are getting out of uniform---and here comes Brandon.

U know what he does? He gets in the car, and says "MOM!! ITS HOT!!!" turns my heater OFF--- and proceeds to roll down the window! I proceed to try to push him out of the car and roll up the window, and tell him he can stand outside in the cooold air until he cools off! Ofc this doesn't work, since he's too tired to stand he wants to sitdown. He says fine...so he opens the door , stays in his seat, stretches his legs --he's wearing shorts---and says "ahhhh".... *grunts* this is NOT what mommy dearest had in mind my luv!

So I persuade him back into the car, letting him keep the window down.
So we pull out of the parking lot, me turning on the heat with his window down, and him turning it off and sticking his head out the window, and me telling him to leave the darned heater alone cuz my feet are frozen! lol, we fially compromise---I get heat on my feet, and he gets to keep the window down until we get on i-35. Oh. we were in Plainview. So we didn't get the heat on, but I managed to keep him from turning on the airconditioner--which he did 3 times when I turned on the heat--lol--it was just too crazy.

We get home...i put on my winter jammies and grab a warm blanket and curl up on the couch.
He goes in his room, and turns on the aircondtioner.

Kids! :)

Fried Green Tomatoes

Ever had fried green tomatoes? If the answer is no--u are surely missing out!

I tried them for the first time, a few months ago. They were ohh so yummy!

So yesterday, dad sent me over some more, from his garden. I cannot wait to fry them! Don't they look mahvelous!?

For me, the making of fried green tomatoes, is to just dip them in some flour, and fry them in a little bit of butter or EVOO.

Some people dip them in egg and flour, or even cornmeal. Season them with some salt and pepper. If you like fried squash, you'll surely love fried green tomatoes!

Don't they look delish? I will upload a pic later of the completed product.

Mom gave me some canned green beans last nite too and I canNOT wait to dig into them!
Home canning at its best! Straight from their garden, to my kitchen ;)!

Football Buttons

Today it is beautiful outside. It hasbeen beautiful for the last few days.
Today, I am lazy. I do not feel like doing anything.
But, I need to take a picture of my kiddo in his football uniform, so I can make buttons.
For because he was sick on the day they had pictures so we totaly missed out.

Homecoming is this weekend--and my 5 year old nephew has informed me that he needs a button of his cousin number 62, to wear on his shirt, because the teacher said that if they have football players or cheerleaders in the family, "we can wear buttons" .

I have never made a football button before. I have no clue.I want to make my little nephew happy...... So I am going to take a snapshot, go to walmart, and hope their craft department has buttons, and print the picture, and go home, and hope they turn out well. I need a button too.

FYI, I do not do spellcheck. I am a very good speller, but somtimes, the keyboard doesn't click each button, and I have already typed long past it. Other times, my fingers move too fast, and the letters get switched, so you'll have to pardon me. :)

Now--getting my kiddo to take pictures---is like pulling a tooth that won't budge.
So lets cross our fingers, and hope he is in the mood to obligue mommy dearest today.
Oh, and lets hope he gives us a small smile. Pls! He loves to laugh, but as soon as the camera is on him--he frowns. Brat! ;)
Surely he cannot disappoint his 5 year old cousin that looks up to him.
We shall see.

So off I go in search of plastic buttons in which to put pictures. Good luck to me!

Miss. Deaf USA

Today I saw something new in Deaf America. This is what I will call the deaf communities in America--Deaf America. Because I can. So news today in Deaf America, is that there is Miss. Deaf USA---a new pageant to be hosted in Las Vegas Nevada in 2010. I ofc am wondering what NAD thinks of this? Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing?

We have Miss. Deaf America---hosted by the state pageants in each state, then you win the title Miss. Deaf America when all the states gather. You become a reprsentative for NAD across America.

But this is where it stops. There is no interational pageant. The Miss. Deaf USA will be international. No state pageants to determine Miss. USA? Instead any girl/woman that fits the criteria can run? Then go to international?I haven't decided yet what my thoughts are. I think its good in some ways. A nice chance to have an internatinal pageant. Except, who do they represent? If its not affilated with NAD, can they still represent all of us who are state members or national members? How does this work?

So I have alot to learn, as I reserach on this and gateher thoughts and opinions.This will include bathing suit competition--since they said it on their site www.missdeafusa.com NAD does not have this. Thank goodness, because as a former Miss. Deaf Oklahoma, I don't think I would've been comfortable prancing around in my bathing suit.But, to me it sounds like Miss. Deaf USA is almost equivelent to Miss. USA so this can be a good thing right? So here I am, curious to find out what the thoughts of others, that are not affiliated.

More details coming soon.

"Eat Morning"

I shld go to bed already. In this lateness of the hour, I have had several conversations on facebook. The strangest one, has me laughing.....and thinking. So I have this friend who is hearing--and he told a little story, where he was voicing in his "comfort language"---and by this, I mean ASL.

I will just say he is an oddball. LOL (Like I'm not ha) But what hearing person says(with their voice) "eat morning"......even if they're fluent in ASL and its like their first language? *shakes head*

Not this deafie--thats for sure! Okay, maybe its me, or maybe its just the lateness of the hour. But even in my craziest moments, I would never voice "eat morning" for "breakfast". Something like that goes on paper---I'm used to that, but voice??? From someone fluent in English? haha...I dont think my deaf sister even voices "eat morning"... I'm just sayin'....... ;) Love ya win, sorry I just had to blog. ha!

Fat cells

Tonight, I'm just gonna ramble, because Im bored, and its what I do.
Eating Salsa before bedtime--burns fat cells. Or so they say.
Eating salad at dinner time, will help you sleep better.
Eating protien such as cottage cheese for lunch, will fuel ur metabolism and burn faster.
Well, I'm up for trying anything! It just doesnt last. Darn.

I'll give credit where credit is due--so these are from papa mostly, but I gotta borrow em cuz I love em.

My fatcells hold hands. Majoryly big time. No matter how hard I try, they wont let go, I think they hang on tighter. I try to run them off, and they just laugh at me. I try to eat right, they giggle.

Then nights like tonite, they celebrate, for I had some of moms pear cobbler that she made for the first time--and it was total awesomeness! I didn't know such a think even existed! Honestly, I could feel my fat cells drooling, and singing, and producing more fatcells and just loving how their family was growing!

They really loved me yesterday too, because for the first time in my life, I had a Frapp. A white chocolate mocha frapp, half coffee and half cream. Thats all I know! oh wow seriously the best thing I've drank in a LONG time! So now I gotta learn their hot coffees too. I think its the cream I'm addicted to, which is a big no no.

I know my fatcells love me, for they show me by clinging to my butt--which certain unnamed folk enjoy taking pictures of. Im not sure this is a good thing. Ofc your welcome to disagree, we are all after all, entitled to our own opinions. My girlfriend wants my butt bec she thinks her man will think its sexy on her. Hmph.Believe me, its not all that! Ya welcome to all the fat cells I have! Want the ones on my thighs, stomach and arms too? Oh yeah lets not forget the ones on my hips! I'll keep my butt thank you very much--after you take all the fat cells that is!

So--I guess the bottom line is, if I want my fatcells to quit hanging on so tight, I gotta stay away from frapps....and I need to run. And run. What did you say? I have to work out too? *grunts* ofc you said that. Fine. So I will try. Ofc, this means I am procrastinating. Probably.

Goodnight fatcells. I'll see ya'll in the morning!

Potatoe soup

I'll never get around to cooking the way I want to cook. Maybe I'm lazy, or I just can't think, or maybe I don't have the money to buy the things I need to cook the way I want. Who knows.
When I do cook, my food is good.Usually. When I don't burn it. ;)

Tmw, I'm making potatoe soup. Just because my son asked me to. I didn't know he liked my potatoe soup. I'm glad he does. Such a perfect meal for rainy days, or cold fall/winter nights, a night when u shld snuggle on the couch, or by the fireplace. *back to reality*--

I don't think its gonna be cold, but I think it'll be okay to make that anyway. My tooth will definitly be happy that I made something soft. It'll be salty, and sweet too. Sweet milk-yum. Fattening, sure. Everything thats not good for you always tastes fantastic!

And this is why my "fat cells" as papa calls em--sticks to me like glue. I really reallydislike my fatcells, they refuse to let go. I keep telling myself I am gonna run them off--but ofc, that doesn't happen. I procrastinate. Too much really. So potatoe soup tomorrow nite--I could do the healthy milk/water version---but it wouldn't be as good. So I guess my fat cells are really gonna love me tomorrow nite!

Heres to sweet milk potatoe soup!

Movie night

Watched "Confessions of a shopaholic". It was okay. I do like chic movies, but there culdve been a little more excitement here. My fave all time movies are "FireProof", "Faith Like Potatoes" those are good movies. "Flywheel" is okay. I want to see the rest of the movies that are like that. I have yet to watch Facing the Giants, Left Behind, etc. One day.

Ofc I enjoy action and comedy and romance as much as the next person. I'm just not as much of a movie freak as others seem to be. Just todays like today, I enjoy sitting down and watching moies. It doesn't happen often. But I do think we need to take time out at least once a week and do something of the sort. Our bodies need rest, relaxation, just some time to stay home and do nothing.

Breathe, relax, smell the air, live on the edge of your seat if you need to--do that with some movies now and then. :-D ....I'm just sayin'.....

Thinking-just random thoughts--

Here I sit, and I am thinking, I don't really much like blogspot too well. I want to be able to categorize what I write. Blogspot isn't allowing me to do that. Angelfire, and all the other webpages are no longer what they used to be. Sometimes, technology doesn't always improve--it deproves. heh.

September has been a pretty good month. It jus sorta flew by for me. I blinked and it was aready the 26th of September. I enjoy days like today when nothing pressing is going on, but then I think, well I couldve went to Ardmore and waht not--but I am too tired from going going going all week, that all I want to do is stay home.

I didnt' even make it to the paint and body shops lke i intended to. Instead, I slept till noon, for the second time in a long time, I got my toes painted, and I watched tv, and blogged, and cooked dinner---and now trying to soak my sonswhite football uniform--without using bleach--as not to ruin the collar colors. Im not sure thats possible to get them white without bleach.

I have so much on my mind its like I can't put my thoughts into one place. I am so tired, and I know that my thryoid is contributing to that, for because I am not on my medication, like I should be. I take it, and all I can want to do is sleep. I accomplish nothing. I accomplish more--without it.

Yet, I know that its not doing my heart good, I know its not doing my tumor good and my other nodules, for the meication would be shrinking them. Its been a year, since they were prescribed---and I still have not take them. Its also been over a year that they told me the thyroid REALLY needs to come out, due to the tumor compressing my airway, which is compressing my esophagus. And yet, I've done nothing still. Hence, I get tired, tired and more tired.

I honestly have no clue how I continue to function. But I do..One day, it'll be fixed. I hope.

Teenager drive time

Be still my heart. A mothers worry is neverending. And then your child says "Mom, I want a moped". GULP. In my heart, I want you to have one too, my luv. But todays world, is so chaotic, people talkin on cell phones, typing while they're driving, that I am so afraid to let you loose on one.

Buying him a moped, would much more simplify my life in terms of not having to drive back and forth to the school 6 times a day--but, I think it would cause much much worry. And here, I am gong to have to worry about this in abt 2 years anyway, when he turns 16. What is a mom to do? Let him go now? Let him learn the value of transportation? He's a mature kid for the most part, and very responsible. Its not like he would be riding on the main roads only back roads.

So he wonders why I've been putting off getting one. It was after all my excitement in the beginning. Originally, we wanted dirt bikes and atv's to ride on, since we are country people. And because theres a dirtbike place tha we can go to on weekends, and ride all day on 40 acres.

So here I sit, pondering, wondering, thinking, daily, what to do. I am lost. Your two cents would be valued. :)

Deaf Dumb Mute

I have been learning twitter lately. Sometimes I'm surprised at the things I read, and sometimes--I'm not. A hot topic though, surprised me, that even though I know people still label deaf as mute and dumb, I was kind of astonished to see that there are way more than a handful of people who still do that. I dont know if these people are just ingorant or what?There are more than a handful of deaf who are sucessful, smart, brilliant even. Even there are deaf who's english is almost absolutely perfect. A well known lady is Marlee Matlin. She is in no way deaf nor dumb. And she's definitly not mute. Mute refers to someone who doesnt' have a voice. Have you ever heard a deaf person yell? Golly gee! I am deaf, and even I sometimes have to cover my ears! Mute--they are not!

There are hearing people who are mute. We do not sterotype them as "hearing mute". I mean..??? What kind of sense would that even make?Little by little, our deaf world is growing in educating the hearing community. We still have a ton of educaing to do to be where we want to be. Some states are further along. I'm in Oklahoma--when I lived in Oregon-I didn't even have to ask let alone beg for an interpreter for any type of appointments. They also didn't force them on us if we declined.In Oklahoma, as well as other states, these struggles continue. But thats for another blog.My blog tonight was mainly on deaf/mute/dumb. *gulp*... Like there arent' any hearing/mute or hearing/dumb out there.

I mean, its not really nice, but just because our communities are much smaller than those of the hearing people in numbers--doesnt' give anyone a right to stereotype us--or even label us of any sort. But, I suppose that will continue.Just for anyone reading this, who has been guided to my blog tonight--leave a note. Do you think I'm deaf or dumb?I've written this blog--intelligently--

Or even mute for that matter? Hmm, if ONLY you could hear my voice. Your jaw would drop. I wasn't always deaf. I could hear--onceupon a long time ago. One doesnt lose their voice overnight--nor to they lose their speech overnite either. If you were to become deaf tomorrow--you would still be able to talk. But either way--I will never be mute--unless something happens to my voice box. :-D Just sayin'....

Foot Stomping

I cant speak for everyone...But I can speak for myself. These are only my thoughts, my opinons expressed."Theres alot of foot stomping around my house", is an understandment! Its how we get eachothers attention, or we wave our arms. As a deaf person, I feel vibrations. Sometimes that can be annoying. when you have a houseful of kids who are running everywhere. I tend to ignore those footstomps. Out of habit. :-D

I recently moved into a house with a den that has a concrete floor. Right next to my bedroom, so it makes a perfect sitting room for me! Oh let me tell you how I love it! I cant even begin to describe the quietness! Quietness I haven't had in ages!

Isn't that an ironic word for someone who is deaf? Quietness?If someone wants my attention, they have to COME IN THE ROOM. No more footstompin, cuz I'm not gonna feel it. If they're in the room with me, we'll theyre just gonna have to kick or wave their arms! Or flash a light even. Its so peaceful. So quiet. Just me, the tv, and my dog. I love having two living rooms --the kids get the front one. Sometimes my kiddo will come in and chat with me. I LOVE that time with him..... And I LOVE that he can't STOMP (hehehehehe) My bedroom floor is concrete too! How great is that!?

You'd think as a deaf person, that I would have total silence all the time, but its not the case. Our eyes are our ears. All that movement, constant watching, chaos, even being around ppl, we need our quietness sometimes. It doesn't mean I dont have noise in my head. It just means I have peace and quiet. Just like you. I love being deaf. But sometimes....just sometimes...I miss sounds. Thats for another blog. :)

My muffler

Got a toothache, can't sleep. Decided its blog time.

I finally felt relaxed today. Not pushed, not overwhelmed, not rushed, not stressed....just easy going and easy flowing. No ball games, no car pooling-cuz the girl was sick, no real housekeeping to do---

So I actually remembered that it was the day to pick up the accident report--which I have been so curious about. Since I was dismissed, and had no information.
I was wanting to know how fast he was going when he hit me, and all the report says is "23 feet of skidmarks"...some help that is.

And that reminded me I had time to peek under my SUV, to check out the muffler--bec I knew it had been moved in the impact. A quick peek revealed that my bumper was melting from the muffler being stuck (more like jammed) to the bumper. Good thing I never went out of town!

So a call to their ins agency--got everything set--rental car for when i need it, check will be issued for wherever I choose to use for repair--medical taken care of--so next step is to get it inspected and get estimates.

Ofc, I made time to make a stop at the muffler shop---they couldn't unjam it, so they had to lift it, took some fire to it--my first time to see a torch being used on a car! Sweet! Had to bend it in two places, to get it to unjam. 20 bucks. Definitly affordable! Now driveable! So now I can drive to OKC Thursday without any worries of catching on fire.

This mom wears seatbelts. All times. I hope you do too!

Exhausted mom

I woke up this morning--nice, crisp cool air--dropped the kiddo off at school--to an empty parking lot, where alot of students are missing the half day classes, due to a funeral later today of a loved teacher. Somberness has set in.

The weather may be crisp and cool, but its still dreary out there.
I have to go pick up my accident report today, so I can get started on insurance stuff.
I am okay. Just, someone rearended me. I'm thankful. And greatful, it culdve been worse. Like, a Semi--so we shld be thankful for small things.

I am so exhausted. I feel like there are never enough hours in the day to accomplish everything.
I think most of it comes from having to drive back and forth from the school all the time.

8am, drop the kiddo off
11:30am, make lunch and get ready to pick the kiddo up
12;30pm, pick the kiddo up for lunch
1pm, drop the kiddo back off at school
2:30pm, pastors wife shows up for a ride, and I take her to get her daughter everyday exceptFridays.
3:15pm, home again

And depending on the day of the week:
4:30pm, pick the kiddo up---
5:30pm, take the kiddo back to the field house (football)
Go home
6:40pm, go BACK to the football field to watch the game
Go home.

OR......
if no game, I go back at 5:30 to 6ish and pick him up.

If out of town game, I pick him up at 2:05, or 2:30pm--depending--
and have to take him back by 3.....when the busses leave.

Games are Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. Ahh.

I spend alot of time in my car. Good thing I have a good car! But I get tired of go go go like that everyday. But this is the life of a mother that doesn't work a job that pays---but the rewards of my life are great :) (Besides the exhaustion ofc)

I dislike so much when ppl tel me I dont ahve a job so I have no idea whats its like. I have worked. Years. And despite no job, I am not one of those that sits around all day with nothing to do. My house is clean. Usually. My bills are paid. Always. I have alot of volunteer work that I do--so I have to spend time doing those things too--Then, ofc I need a little blog time sometimes. Not always. Just now and then.

I love being a mom. Its a full time job. Im a single mom. My kiddo keeps me busy. I wouldnt have it any other way. to me, that means he's happy, he's involved, he's not off running around somewhere, he has fear instilled in him, that he can't skip school, run off, run aroudn town on foot and get in trouble, and what not. I'm blessed. Truly. So if it means I gotta run all day long--so be it. THAT is my job, as a mom, as a homemaker. Even i am entitled to exhaustion--even though I don't sit behind a desk, or stand on my feet all day long waitressing or being a checkout clerk, or what not.

:)

SCDR (Deaf Retreat)

South Central Deaf Retreat (SCDR) was this past weekend. They've had it at Falls Creek (Assembly of God Youth Camp) in Turner Falls (Davis Ok) For the past 22 years. This year--was my first. Boy have I missed out for the last many a year! So this year, I decided---I would GO. And this is my agenda from here on out.I missed Thursday night since my son had a football game, his first of the season. Which as a freshman, he has soo been looking forward to.Friday night, I made a commitment to attend SCDR, even though there was a Varsity football game going on.

Iam soooo glad I chose to go. God is soo good! I cannot even begin to describe the feelings, the knowledge gained, the Word of God, the way it was given to us.The chosen speaker, was amazing! There is simpily no other way to describe it. But you know, the Word of God is ALWAYS AMAZING! No matter which way you cut it! No matter when or where! There is just no one thats better than someone else! Everytime you go, no matter where it is, the speaker is gonna be good! Thats God! Thats HIS work in them.We were blessed to have Brother Bert from California. So glad God told him to accept the invitation to come here.

Bert is Ron Lawers uncle. Oh what a service! I so love seeing the Holy Spirit work in others lives, and I love seeing the rejoicing, the tears, the comfort, the love and the touch--anytime--anyplace!Services started off with prayer and then ofc worship! Oh how I love to sing! Its been said that signing songs is boring--well then you ain't never been to a deaf retreat!! Yehaw! There wasn't no "boring" in this room all nite!

So after we sing and shout and yell and have a blast worshipping the lord, Stephanie Wisinger brought somberness into the room. She did a poem in ASL, and honestly I thought it was the most amazingly beautifl thing I had ever seen poemwise, done in ASL. About Jesus--and HE WAS THERE!!! It just...flowed through the room, if I could hear, I woulddare say no one was even moving. We were all probably leaning forward with our mouths hanging open (okay not really but...) I believe, one couldve heard a pindrop.Bert--is total ASL. I mean TOTAL Whoo! Soooo total that even the interpreters were seeking help! Even myself as a deaf interpreter--would have had extreme difficulty getting eveyrthing into english words, and expressing them and describging them EXACTLY the way he was putting it out--no other word but A M A Z I N G! Kudos to the interpreters!Wow!

The power of God! Is sooooo awesome! I just...sat there in awe most of the night. I lived in the songs--I praised and worshipped, I listended with an open heart and an open mind to the Word of God. I lifted my hands, I reached out, I let Him supply my needs, for He was and is IN THE HOUSE! Then...it was time to go home. Whaa!(What do you think abt this?)Saturday dawned, and I could NOT wait to get back. I couldn't wait to be back in that building, in that room, in the presence of others worhipping himooooh sooo amazing! This night, Naomi Woodall led us in worship--and oh my goodness! The Lord BROUGHT THE HOUSE DOWN! Literally! His precense was felt, definitly inside and I am sure we shined all the way to heavens that nite!

Oh GOD IS SO GOOD! Can I get an AMEN?Again, I sang, I praised, I worshipped. I lifted my hands, I glorified Him, and I could feel Him from my head to my toes! The Holy Spirit was moving among us, soo strongly! So amazingly! And we reached out, we grabbed on, and we never wanna let go!Okay so we had to stop singing at some point, and hear the Word of God. Just as amazing as the worshipping, the Word of God just jumped out at us, and touch each one of us. The Word of GOD was there. The Word of God is HERE. The Word of God, always will be!My fingers cannot type as fast as the words are coming to mind.

The Word of God is amazing! So we heard the Word of God. And the Word of God was with us all night!Brother Bert, from Him, into you, out of your hands, and into us---We heard. We thank you for sharing the Word of God so wisely, so deeply. So ASL'ly that I cannot even describe that word, I don't think theres such a word for it!Then, it was time to go home. I didnt wanna leave! And let me say--it was close to midnight! I don't think one soul in that place even cared what time it was! Who wants sleep when the Holy Spirit is soo ALIVE and the Word of God is filling our hearts!? And I knew, as I walked out the doors that nite, I was taking the Holy Spirit with me,a nd I'd had Him all along. And He'd be with me, always.Sunday morning, dawned a bit too early I think---as our eyes were not wanting to open, but our spirits were craving the Word of God. So out of bed we crawled, despite the lateness of the nite that we got to close our eyes, and off to church we went.

I could not WAit to see what the Lord had planned for us. The Sulphur Team led us in worship, sooo beautiful, so gracious. There were a few other singers, just as beautiful and gracious. AND THEN---

Gracious golly if that man didn't leave us with our bodies leaned forward, soaking in every word, hanging onto every sentence. Once again in his most amazing ASL'ly way. I cannot describe the way this guy signs. But Oh I do tell you, if you EVER get a chance to see this man preach the Word of God-----take it! I would! WOW!The Lord led us to a perfect ending to an amazing sermon. Brother Bert gathered all the pastors, and their wives/husbands---and ooh....oooh!And then.....after some words, and love, and moving of the Holy Spirit---he had many of us in tears---The Holy Spirit was just--wow. So we all got to hug all these pastors and their wives, and we got to say THANK YOU. And we learned something.

At least I did. They're teachers. And we should be teachers too. We don't have to be pastors or pastors wives to be teachers, but let us be teachers. Let us teach. Teaching the Word of God, however God moves us.Now---I am gonna try to make plans to attend i dont know what its called, but its happening in tulsa---Tulsa Oklahoma where all churches of all denominations are invited ----together as one. I hope I can go. As a single mother with a child---its hard to get away, but if you can go, I encourage you to go. If you wanna know your Lord more, go. GO. Don't put it off. Don't wait till its too late. Gather now. Go now. I encourage myself, and I encourage you. May the Holy Spirit be moved among us all. I love you all.In Christ,Renee'

Are you angry with the Lord?

Okay, so this is the blog where I just pour out feelings on random things, or my day or what may be. This one is the one that shld be titled my everyday life. The ordinary life of a single deaf mom.

So Im gonna play with my blogs as you come back u'll see things have changed and updated, as I learn to write and express again.

Onceupon a time, I LOVED to write poems. I had stackfuls and then one day, I stopped writing. I have no idea why really. My life is just as chaotic as the next person, and then just as wonderful as the next persons also.

Today, I have an amazing life. I mean amazing. I am happy, I am satisfied and I am complete. And there is only ONE reason for this, and that reason, is Jesus Christ. I am not ashamed to say I love my Lord. I am not ashamed to say HE is my best friend. Its on HIM that I can rely on everything.

Today, I am giong to write this blog, for someone Ic are abt. For someone thats fallen off the wagon, and blames the Lord or is angry at the Lord for whatever has gone wrong in their lives, or maybe things that have happened int heir lives that they dont understand why the Lord has allowed those things to happen.

For whoever you are you know who you are. You are not alone. There are many lost souls in this world. And if there was one thing I leaned this weekend fromt the retreat is taht we are all teachers. The Lord wants us to be teachers and I know this is my calling also.

Sweethearts, for all of you out there, the LORD LOVES YOU. He has NOT FORSAKEN (Forgotten) you. HE LOVES YOU.

Maybe your angry at the Lord for the things that have been allowed to happen in your lives. But I can tell you, there was a reason. The Lord allows things to HAPPEN For reasons that are way beyond our understanding. Bad things even happen to good people. Even Christians go through difficult times.

But please, I can only ask you, and the choice is yours. It is our decision daily to follow theLord. Maybe he's reached out to you through friends wanting u to go to church.
The one thing you CAN do is TALK to the LORD. ASK Him to forgive you for whatever you have done. For we are not perfect. We ae sinners in this world. Let him guide you and take over your life. Go to Him with every problem you have. Confess to him all your sins.

Find a pastor to talk to, a sr or a youth paster. Find a friend in your life thats a strong Christian. Let them help you. Open your heart.

Because God allows things to happen that may be horrible for us, beyond our understanding and u may ask "why did God allow me to go through this" or "if he loved me, he wouldnt have allowed this to happen". But you see God allows things to happen for a reason--He doesn't bring those things upon us. Even if you think He does. He doesn't. Satan is throwing whatever he can at you and what satan wants for you is for YOU TO BE AWAY FROM YOUR LORD!!! And if you have let satan interfere and you blame God and you are angry with God then satan is winning! DO NOT LET SATAN WIN!!! He is a loser! Show him what a loser he is! Forgive others, and forgive yourself, and askthe Lord to forgive YOU for being angry with him.

Our lives are hard, such is the way of the world. But with Him all things are possible and through all things we can come! We shall prevail, but it is up to us, US-- Gods chidlren that He loves to look to Him in time of need.No matter what bad things happen. Jesus loves us all.

KM--Jesus LOVES YOU. He wants you to turn to him. Your friends asked you to church for a reason. Give Jesus A CHANCE!! What have you got to lose--besides your life???? Ask God to help you forgive and move on, ask Him to help you with your life. Because HE WILL.

KM--My heart goes ut to you. My heart breaks to see you are so angry at God.Sweetie if I could tell you all the horrible things that God let us go through---wow. My sister recently had to endure something so horrible that NO ONE shld have to endure. But you know what? We didn'tblame God. We went to God. I stood by her side, and I reminded her daily to give her troubles to the Lord. And HALLELUIA! She got through that! Maybe you know, maybe you don't. But oh sweetie--it is hard work yes, but we must place our faith in God. For we ourselves are not perfect, we are sinners.

Give Him a chance K--- I KNOW you have that somewhere inside of you, or you would nto have posted in public about being angry and not being ready to go to churc. Honey--you an talk to Jesus alone just you and Him. You can ask him for guidence. But he is ready to embrace you for He has taken the steps and had ur friends ask you to join them.

You dont have to be ready to go to church, just take that first step, ready or not, and let God do the rest. Let Him guide you. Open your heart, and give it a chance. Sweetie, eternal life is much better than the life that one would be doomed for if we do not turn to the Lord.

And sweetheart I am here for you for any questions you have, in confidence whatever you need. Know this, NO ONE can make a decision for you. Its all yours. The choice is yours its up to you entirely. But know this. Jesus LOVES YOU. And I love you.

Love,
Renee'

New blogspot

Deafness blog at www.simpilysapphire.com (that one is deafness, and this one will be my daily life)

So I decided to make another blogspot. This one, will just be my everyday thoughts, life in general---mostly not related to deafness. I want to reserve one for deafness and one for randomness or whatever. So. :) This is it for now.